How to Pee Outside: A Mostly Serious Guide for Women
Are you wondering how to pee outside? No toilet to sit on. No walls for privacy. No toilet paper to wipe with.
No soap + sink for post-business hand washing.
Only you, your friends, and an endless landscape full of poison oak, cactus, snakes, mosquitos, and other wild dangers threatening the safety of your beautiful adventuring booty.
The wind blows cold and unforgiving.
Welcome to the classic moment of Woman Vs. Wild.
So, how to pee in the woods if you’re a woman; just follow this step-by-step guide!
After giving this method a few goes, you will have your system nailed and be wee-ing with confidence!
Not only is it important to feel confident and comfortable when taking care of business in the outdoors, but it’s just as important to keep yourself feeling fresh and respect the ecosystem around you.
It’s where adventurous people play and millions of flora and fauna live.
And obviously, no one wants to pee all over themselves or their clothing. Well, at least no one that I know… to each their own.
Alright ladies, grab your T.P. and read on! You’re about to read the cliff notes beta on how to pee outside like a pro. But remember, mastery comes with practice.
Bonus points if you read this article while doing a wall sit. Now that’s multi-tasking! Whether you do them now or at the gym, be sure to be getting in your squats!
The stronger your squat position, the less likely you are to pee on yourself. Now if that isn’t #squatspo then I don’t know what is.
This post contains some affiliate links for your convenience. This means if you make a purchase after clicking a link, I may earn a small commission but it won’t cost you a penny more! Isn’t that rad? Thanks for supporting the work I do at DareToBeAWildflower.com. Click here to read my full disclosure policy.
Find the Perfect Spot
Friends, please don’t pee on trails, campsites, rock climbing areas where people hang out and belay, or near a water source. No one wants to smell or walk through your waste.
Away From High Traffic Areas
- Most importantly, be sure to stay at least 200 feet away from any water source (including dry ones), trails, and campsites to keep it LNT approved!
- Also, if you don’t want your whole crew seeing you bounce your bare ass up and down as you relieve yourself, see if you can find a large rock, bush, or tree to find recluse behind.
Finding the Right Surface
- First, check for dangers like poison oak, cacti, snakes, ledges, loose gravel near said ledges.
- If possible, scout out an area with pine needles or gravel to urinate on. These surfaces are less likely to attract wildlife.
- Mitigating backsplash is one of the hardest things to master when learning how to pee outside.
- Dirt and tinder are great, rocks and leaves are not. Unfortunately, they will throw your pee right back at you, like a high pressured stream of water hitting a spoon. Only it’s not water, it’s your pee, and now it’s all over your pants and shoes. Yikes!
Assume the Position & Don’t Pee on Yourself
Face Downhill
- Similarly, point your toes in the direction of the slope you’re on. Your pee is going to be headed straight down the hill so hopefully your feet are not in that line of flow.
Clear the Line of Fire
- First, pull your pants down to around your lower thighs before squatting all the way down. Reach down and grab your pants and panties that are in front of your crotch and pull them up to ensure they are clear of danger!
- Then, aim your tinkle tide by tilting your pelvis.
- Finally, give it a gentle push right it the end to ensure the low pressure flow doesn’t drip all over you.
Squat and Swat
- If you are having a hard time balancing, get comfy by placing the other hand on a tree for some balance support or use it to swat away mosquitos. Bug bites on the booty are the worst.
- Also, if this position is challenging for you to hold, add more squats and lunges into your life.
Where’s the TP?
Packing Things In
- Don’t forget to pack in some TP if you aren’t into the drip dry method! In reality, an entire roll isn’t necessary but bringing a little extra is always a good idea.
- You can bring a mini TP roll made for hikers (yes, that’s a thing), a small package of tissues, napkins from your favorite burrito joint (we both know guac is extra), a folded up stash from a big TP roll at home, or use a bandana as a pee rag.
- Also, pee rags (aka bandanas) are great for keeping it zero waste and having the luxury of wiping. Attach it to the outside of your pack or stash it away in a specific pocket of your pack. Wash it out at the end of the day and let it leave it out to dry.
Related Post: The Hiking 10 Essentials You Need To Take on Every Hike
Packing Things Out
- Be sure to PACK OUT everything you pack in, including your used TP. A small plastic baggie works just fine. But if you are like me and don’t like to look at your used paper, you can reuse small snack bags that once held trail mix, kale chips, or wasabi peas. Basically, any small bag that you can’t see into is perfect.
- Changing your tampon? Yes, pack that out too! Realistically, it’s more likely that an animal will dig it up before it decomposes. Also, remember to sanitize your hands before and after.
- Under those circumstances, save yourself from carrying around used tampons + plastic applicators and switch to the healthier, more eco-friendly lifestyle choice. I’m a fangirl for life (in case you couldn’t all ready tell).
Related Post: The 11th Outdoor Essential (Hint: It Goes In Your Vagina)
Pack Nothing
- Additionally, another option here is the old school air dry method. You can do a little bounce up and down in an attempt to shake off any remaining drops. Honestly, I’ve never found this to be particularly effective since things never really dry completely which leaves you feeling wet and stinky. Nevertheless, it is an option and many women opt for this minimalistic style.
Completing the Task
- Pack out your paper + tampons.
- Wash + sanitize your hands.
- Appreciate the beautiful view.
- Frolic back to your friends and get ready to get sendy or summit-y!
After all of that, give yourself a pat on the back if you just enjoyed the best view ever while relieving yourself.
Things to Bring
- TP or Pee Rag
- Plastic Bag for TP and tampons
- Hand Sanitizer
- DivaCup if you are menstruating
- Female Urinary Device if you’re feeling adventurous
- Trowel for burying menstrual blood or solid waste
Most importantly, do not bury or burn your TP! The paper is treated with bleach and other chemicals that the land does not like and it takes forever to decompose. Animals dig it up. Wind blows it around.
It’s a terrible sight to see in a beautiful, majestic outdoor wonderland.
Related Post: Dear Outdoor Adventurers, Please Pack Out Your Toilet Paper
Leave No Trace Tip: Diluting your urine with a bit of water can help reduce the negative effects of wildlife being attracted to your liquid waste.
Congratulations, you wild girl! You now know how to pee outside and you’re ready to be an outdoor adventuring badass!
Are you still holding that wall sit?
Bravo!
You were born to pee wild!
Don’t worry, pee happy. Urine for a good time!
*Ending Dad jokes now… for now*
Recommended Gear
Pin For Later | how to pee in the woods if you’re a woman: A Mostly Serious Guide
